You are on my mind constantly, forever... My drug, my love, my addiction! The one who has done what so many others could not, won me over. So here I am, awake, yearning for your love... You're the cause of these sleepless nights!
A hug, a kiss, a tear, a wave, goodbye, the tightening in my chest as the bus pulls away. The mix of emotions that flood me after. Sadness that you must go, anger because you left, excitement for the day you return and fear that you may not... The clock ticks a little slower making the days last an eternity. The phone calls, the texts, the arguments. All I can do is lay and wish for you to come home to me, to hold me, to bless me with your kisses and cure the heartache I suffer the moment you leave! Sleep doesn't come easy and the simplest tasks seem so difficult! The first days pass and then time seems to stop! My heartache worsens, the tears come with no warning. And just when I think I can't handle it anymore, you return with the cure to all my troubles and pain. You make everything better and my already immense love for you only grows greater. A wave, an embrace, a kiss, a tear, a welcome home, the explosion of love in my heart.
I am fighting the greatest battle of my life. It is an inner battle, a war with insecurities! It is a battle that is destroying the love I have with him! He loves me, Lord knows he does! He did stay after my mistakes, and that itself shows the depth of his caring and love! Yet I find myself questioning it still. Wondering if he is playing me for a fool like the ones in my past, but this would be much more devastating. See when we aren't fighting its everything I want! He is the man of my dreams! He has goals, he is sweet, he is a wonderful father and an equally great lover. We share the same bed, and though sometimes painful, he is honest. He encourages me and vows to protect me. Yet here I am destroying all of that because I am all mixed up! My heart whispers he's the one, my mind tells me it's too good to be true, they can't just be friends and my soul yearns for him! It always comes down to the same things though; I love him deeper than anyone I've ever loved and I cannot be without him!